There's a boy

There's a boy.




In the past 3 years, he has made me feel everything a girl could possibly feel: happiness, endearment, security, sadness, frustration, comfort. I ended with comfort because the thought of him still gives me utmost comfort. Being with him taught me so much about love and companionship. I realized that it's not all about compromise, it's an act of sharing; sharing opinions, sharing values. 

It almost feels like he has occupied a hundred percent of my heart, and my heart keeps growing with fondness everyday to take up more space in my body; that's how I feel when I think about him not being in my life at the moment and heave that heavy sigh of helplessness. Geographical distance made us end up where we are today and every passing day with the thought of him is difficult. 

He's made me feel the butterflies-in-my-stomach kind of love, the background-music kind of love. I look at him and I know- I want to be wearing his ring on my finger forever, no matter what the circumstances may be today. No matter what happens, my heart is stolen, and I don't even want to give it to anyone else.

But then I think, doesn't my today shape tomorrow? Why am I not pouring my heart out to him right now? That's the thing- you can't change another person's mind, can you? I feel an ache often where my mind just says fuck it and tell him that you want to do every day of life together and don't want to leave our future to fate. Somewhere deep down I do know though, we are meant to be. And if we're meant to be, our paths will cross again. And my heart will fill up, brimming with awe, again.

I don't know if my destiny has him written on it or not, but who said I can't change my own destiny right? 

I don't even know what he's done to me, but I do know how to love, because I've loved hard, I've loved more than I ever could and I'll keep loving, for the rest of my life. I love love.











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