No more hush-hush
On attaining adolescence, the body and the mental state of people goes through certain changes.
That's it. That's all that the textbooks in India teach children when they step into a brand-new phase
of their lives: a phase of emotional instability where they need knowledge. In order to make suitable
decisions based on their sexuality and to fulfil their new-fangled desires, they need legitimate sex
education.
We have now come to a point where people chose to cater to their sexual desires. Sex, for Indians, is
treated as no more just a means of reproduction, a taboo since the 19th century.
I (another teenager who has certain desires as an adolescent) was never provided with sex
education— similar to most Indian teenagers today. Like almost everybody else, I attained my
knowledge about sex and sexual urges through the web, and of course, through “hush-hush”
discussions with peers. Naturally, the more something is hidden and concealed, the more exciting it
seems. My parents were taciturn about it and started a series of iconic Indian household incidents. A Kama Sutra condoms advertisement plays on the television. Parent shuffle uncomfortable, and their child acts like she is as innocent as the day she was born.
Providing students with sex education is an option for private schools in India. Without a doubt, they
chose the easier way out, denying such education to children and young adults. Certain state
governments claim that it is “unethical” to teach children about sex. Such arguments on culture and
morality do not apply here at all. They are for dealing with child abuse and reducing the spread of
Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Why refuse to spread information that could save lives?
I feel Indian parents do not feel the need to let their children know about anything related to sex
because they feel that sex is an "adult thing". A teenager who masturbates wouldn’t be able to talk about her newfound feelings and urges with her parents, thanks to society.
It’s not just the children, even parents need to be made aware of when their children need
awareness, and how to dispense it. As far as I understand, what prevents parents from discussing it
with their children is the fear of their children “screwing around”. That leads to the fear of
something going wrong. Well, what about the young kids getting sexually assaulted, then? The ones
who can’t distinguish a platonic pat from a ‘bad touch’? Would they even know what would be
happening to them if they are harassed? Maybe, maybe not.
Now, imagine a scenario where the kids received proper sex education and were made aware of
their bodies and sexuality. They would be able to tell a responsible adult if they felt uncomfortable
with the actions of another person. Even if they didn’t, they would—at the very least—have the
knowledge to know that what had happened was wrong.
Now that I think of it, I was told not to let anybody touch me in the ‘wrong place’ and that if
someone did, to tell somebody. Only now do I realise that there was more that I could've been told.
It was when I faced an issue of somebody touching my buttocks inappropriately that I realised that
there are waves of fear and guilt gushing along with the incident taking place. On being warned
about such things, we might think it would be easy to fight fear and defend ourselves. At least, that’s
what I thought. I was wrong. Just when the incident took place, I felt like I knew nothing about
reacting to acts like these and doing something about it immediately. I felt, naked and ashamed,although I was not at fault. Discussing the matter had become extremely challenging. Suddenly I felt the strong necessity for somebody to tell me ways of handling sexual harassments. Maybe talking about it wouldn’t have been as difficult as it was, if somebody had a detailed discussion with me as a kid – it would have avoided those waves of fear.
Almost all of us browse through the internet, celebrating victory of knowing every detail and
absorbing every drop of knowledge that we need about sex and thinking to ourselves that we really
do not need sex education anymore. Unfortunately, it’s never that way. There are several things that
we were never talked to about, things that will be more effectively explained to us by means sex
education rather than the talk with our parents. It is about time we realise that it is sex education we
need, not just abstinence advice. It’s not about teaching us how to have sex or how to deal with
urges, it’s also about understanding what really is happening in our adolescent bodies and about
making healthy, safe choices as we grow.
Let’s work towards a no-more-hush-hush society.
That's it. That's all that the textbooks in India teach children when they step into a brand-new phase
of their lives: a phase of emotional instability where they need knowledge. In order to make suitable
decisions based on their sexuality and to fulfil their new-fangled desires, they need legitimate sex
education.
We have now come to a point where people chose to cater to their sexual desires. Sex, for Indians, is
treated as no more just a means of reproduction, a taboo since the 19th century.
I (another teenager who has certain desires as an adolescent) was never provided with sex
education— similar to most Indian teenagers today. Like almost everybody else, I attained my
knowledge about sex and sexual urges through the web, and of course, through “hush-hush”
discussions with peers. Naturally, the more something is hidden and concealed, the more exciting it
seems. My parents were taciturn about it and started a series of iconic Indian household incidents. A Kama Sutra condoms advertisement plays on the television. Parent shuffle uncomfortable, and their child acts like she is as innocent as the day she was born.
Providing students with sex education is an option for private schools in India. Without a doubt, they
chose the easier way out, denying such education to children and young adults. Certain state
governments claim that it is “unethical” to teach children about sex. Such arguments on culture and
morality do not apply here at all. They are for dealing with child abuse and reducing the spread of
Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Why refuse to spread information that could save lives?
I feel Indian parents do not feel the need to let their children know about anything related to sex
because they feel that sex is an "adult thing". A teenager who masturbates wouldn’t be able to talk about her newfound feelings and urges with her parents, thanks to society.
It’s not just the children, even parents need to be made aware of when their children need
awareness, and how to dispense it. As far as I understand, what prevents parents from discussing it
with their children is the fear of their children “screwing around”. That leads to the fear of
something going wrong. Well, what about the young kids getting sexually assaulted, then? The ones
who can’t distinguish a platonic pat from a ‘bad touch’? Would they even know what would be
happening to them if they are harassed? Maybe, maybe not.
Now, imagine a scenario where the kids received proper sex education and were made aware of
their bodies and sexuality. They would be able to tell a responsible adult if they felt uncomfortable
with the actions of another person. Even if they didn’t, they would—at the very least—have the
knowledge to know that what had happened was wrong.
Now that I think of it, I was told not to let anybody touch me in the ‘wrong place’ and that if
someone did, to tell somebody. Only now do I realise that there was more that I could've been told.
It was when I faced an issue of somebody touching my buttocks inappropriately that I realised that
there are waves of fear and guilt gushing along with the incident taking place. On being warned
about such things, we might think it would be easy to fight fear and defend ourselves. At least, that’s
what I thought. I was wrong. Just when the incident took place, I felt like I knew nothing about
reacting to acts like these and doing something about it immediately. I felt, naked and ashamed,although I was not at fault. Discussing the matter had become extremely challenging. Suddenly I felt the strong necessity for somebody to tell me ways of handling sexual harassments. Maybe talking about it wouldn’t have been as difficult as it was, if somebody had a detailed discussion with me as a kid – it would have avoided those waves of fear.
Almost all of us browse through the internet, celebrating victory of knowing every detail and
absorbing every drop of knowledge that we need about sex and thinking to ourselves that we really
do not need sex education anymore. Unfortunately, it’s never that way. There are several things that
we were never talked to about, things that will be more effectively explained to us by means sex
education rather than the talk with our parents. It is about time we realise that it is sex education we
need, not just abstinence advice. It’s not about teaching us how to have sex or how to deal with
urges, it’s also about understanding what really is happening in our adolescent bodies and about
making healthy, safe choices as we grow.
Let’s work towards a no-more-hush-hush society.
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